being on the outside

recently we made the decision to eject ourselves from a loved community, believing that we needed another commune with similar others. we found a community where we found alikes. but when i visit my friends' blogs and look at pretty pictures, i realise just how much that old community is a part of my life. i miss it. i miss it terribly.

but while i realise i miss it so much that part of me wants to inject myself back into this so-cherished community, i also come to realise how different a stage i am in, how different the paths i've chosen to walk, from members of this community.

events within this community continues to dot my loved ones' journeys like orange paper lanterns at night on an invisible string. photos go up on blogs. and i miss it.

but i think i've moved one. yet i miss it. i miss being in the midst of communal celebrations.

congrats to the newly married, congrats to the newly graduated. i miss you.